Sweating to the Oldies...and Mrs. Field's Cookies

So, I officially joined the gym a couple of weeks ago and have been loving it! I've been trying to get there three times a week; sometimes it ends up being only twice, but I'm not worried about it. Since I don't have an mp3 or an ipod, I rock out with my grandma's walkman which has the battery case scotch-taped shut because it's broken. I don't have earbuds either, so if you're looking for me there, I'm the one styling with headphones similar to the one your first grader wears for computer time. I like to think of myself as a trendsetter...just wait, I think it's going to catch on...

I work out at Bally's and the one I go to is right inside of a mall. If you haven't been there, the layout of it is interesting. In the front, the wall is made entirely of glass, so as you're working out, mall walkers can look in and see you strutting your stuff--or not. Now, here is the interesting part, as I'm walking on the treadmill, I'm looking directly out at none other than Mrs. Field's Original Cookies. Whose idea was that? Instead of thinking about getting more fit and eating right, I'm thinking about how many more minutes of cardio I have left until I can get that chocolate chocolate chip cookie. In honesty, I have only done that once...and I think I burned enough calories that it was permissible. Not quite sure about that...I do, however, think about it every single time I am sweating on that treadmill.

Anyway, just wanted to give a little update on the excercise status. Do you think it would be weird if I walked backwards on the treadmill so as to face the opposite direction? My kids do it all the time in stores, so maybe it would be okay. Or, I could wear a blindfold...now that might be really awesome in combination with my awesome headphones.

Hmmm, things to ponder. Hope you're all having a great day.

You say tomato, I say to-mah-to...

Most people look at a dresser and see it as a space for storing clothing. Dynamite looks at it and sees a ladder that he can climb. Most people see a church's pews and kneelers as a tool for focus on becoming more like Christ. Dynamite sees those and his eyes light up at the new obstacle course he has discovered (take today for example when I had to grab a hold of his feet to stop him from army crawling under every blessed pew, pun intended). Most people look at rice and see something that would taste good and be a source of nutrition. Dynamite sees himself at a wedding congratulating the emerging bride and groom throwing handfuls of it up in to the sky! Okay, I don't really know that his thought process gets that far...but whatever he's envisioning, it's not something to eat.

I know you all must think that my little darling is hyped up on sugar (only sometimes) and out of control (okay, a lot of the time). However, can I just tell you that this little guy is pure magic? As "active" as he is, he makes me smile all day long. He is probably more affectionate than anyone in the house, with a hug and a kiss before anyone can leave or enter our door. He is an absolute delight. So much so, that it is really hard for me to get mad at him. This had to be God's intention when He decided in his ultimate wisdom that He would bless me with such a handful. His thought process may have gone a little like this, "Okay, she needs to learn patience and kindness. I'm going to give her a walking tornado...but I'll make him pretty cute and a ball of joy".

I have to smile when I think that this is how God looks down on us. With all of our quirks and imperfections, 1 Timothy 4:4 says that "everything God created is good". When we see something broken, God sees something worth fixing. When we see ourselves as lacking, our Creator sees not our inadequacies, but the potential that lies within. Thank God for different perspectives. Maybe Dynamite gets something I don't. He looks past the practical and the ordinary and seeks out adventure. Finds the amazing. Maybe the saying that children are closer to God really is true.

I Want to be King!

I love this picture. Dear husband (dh) says it looks like Dynamite is shouting, "I AM KING OF THE WORRRLLLLD!". On that note, I wanted to share a fabulous quote from Marianne Williamson's book, A Return to Love:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. You were born to manifest the glory of God that is within you. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Wow! This is powerful stuff. How often do we find ourselves filling our minds with negative self-talk? For example, "I'm too old to play an instrument well, why bother trying?" or "I haven't written anything in ages, I don't even think I can anymore". We allow the nay-saying to stifle out new possibilities. We hang our heads feeling defeated when we haven't even gotten out of the gate. Talk about being unfair!

As a kid, I can remember feeling embarrassed that I enjoyed reading. I recall being laughed at when I used a word like "catapulted" instead of "jumped". I was ashamed of what I loved, because it made me different. God forbid that I draw any attention to myself and step outside of the safe circle of mediocrity. We see children make fun of others all the time because something is different about them. They are thinner, they are fatter, they are smarter, they are shorter. We grow up with the voices calling out, "Don't be different! Don't stand out!". And we gradually learn to internalize those voices. And if we allow them to, the voices deter us from becoming the person we were meant to be.

Remember, who are you not to be amazing? Choose not to be stifled. Choose to be incredible. It is what you were created for.

“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.” -Howard Thurman

A little Moonlight Sonata, please?

Remember how I was writing about being disorganized and forgetful? Well, this morning was a perfect example. I woke up and was lazily sipping my coffee while the kids played. Dh decided to go over to my parents' to work on their computer and the three musketeers wanted to tag along. As they were all piling in the car, I remembered, oh no!, I made plans to go to dh's aunt's house which is an hour and a half away. At this point, it was roughly ten o'clock and I was still in my jammies. Let the William Tell Overture begin!

To make a long story short, I was able to get myself together while the kids were gone and when they got back we all headed out for our little road trip. We listened to Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs on cd along with Cindy-Lou Who's new Taylor Swift cd (I make no apologies, we both love her...the boys roll their eyes and we choose to ignore them).

It was a day of leisurely visiting and kids belly laughing. Super-boy and Cindy-Lou Who took a ride out in their uncle's wagon which was hitched to the back of a tractor. Believe me, they were in their glory. Dynamite wanted to get on, but he didn't want to get on, if you get my drift. He kept crying, "wa-non! wanon!", but every time I would try to put him in, he would wrap his arms around my neck in a death grip. Maybe next time...

So, in spite of my forgetfulness this morning, it turned out to be a really pleasant day. Ending with a little bit of Moonlight Sonata, which is way more relaxing than the way it started out.

All of Me

I am free, and yet shackled.
I am more alive than I have ever been, and yet dragged down by a thousand wrongs.
I am surrounded by deep, abiding and transparent love and yet swallowed up by the hypocrisy...the shallowness of both myself and others.
I am goodness and selfishness.
I am joy overflowing and sadness at its core.
I am a smile and my head in my hands.
I am magical and toxic.
I am peaceful and plagued.
I am laying it down and taking it right back every chance I get.
I am light and dark.
I am loved.

For all of these things, I am loved.
I write this because I tend to focus on the negative, or as my friend Matt commented at one point, "the unworthiness". But I am worthy. You are worthy.
You are loved.

Courage to Change the Things I Can...

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference". ~The Serenity Prayer


So, the last few weeks I've been feeling crummy about where I'm at with my physical fitness. It's getting colder and I'm a lot less apt to hop on my bike to make a quick trip to the fruit market or the bank. I'm not preparing for any rides (okay, so I only did one, but who's counting). I'm not walking to the library as frequently as when the kids were out of school.



Also, I am an admitted chocoholic. I LOVE dark chocolate and everybody knows it. If it is in the house, I will eat it. If it is not in the house, I will buy it. It is somewhat of an addiction. All of the healthy muffin recipes that I make...I stuff them chock full of chocolate chips which kind of eliminates the healthy factor.



Last but not least, I hate to exercise unless it is fully disguised in pure fun. I love to play softball because I have a competitive spirit and I get to leave the house to hang with friends. I like to ride my bike because I am going somewhere--I am riding with a purpose of arriving at a destination. But walking on a treadmill...not so much.



So as I was wishing I was in better shape, eating healthier and exercising more, I said to myself, "This is YOUR CHOICE. If you don't like it, change it". How often do I sit around feeling badly about something that I have total control over? Feeling powerless when I am fully empowered to make a change?



So, here it is, friends. I am joining the gym. I am always somewhat embarrassed to go to the gym as I look like a dufus trying to figure out how to work half of the machines. But I am going to do it, because I am tired of feeling bad about it!



Is there something in your life that you feel badly about that you have the ability to change? I'm curious. Share if you can and maybe we can all encourage each other!



Also, check out this HILARIOUS link of Brian Regan talking about feeling like a loser at the gym. You'll get a great laugh for the day.

http://comedians.jokes.com/brian-regan/videos/brian-regan---the-gym

The Muffins Can Wait

"Mom, how do you spell 'Grandpa -------'?". Or "Mom, how do you spell 'You are my best friend and I love you'?". (I know I'm messing up my punctuation here, fellow English nerds--I will get out my MLA and straighten myself out, I promise). And so, I begin slowly, "M-o-m...".

I really want to bake muffins today. I want to do something that requires my complete attention and have zero interruptions. But my husband so gently broke it to me today, "I don't know if you're going to get that...this...year". Nice. And I may not. So, how do I cope? How do I manage to feel fulfilled when right now, as I'm typing, Dynamite is spilling Cheerios all over the floor that I just swept. Cindy-lou Who continues to call out her spelling demands from her corner of the living-room , and Super-boy stands here chattering in my ear about Pokemon.

...And now Super-boy is doing somersaults off the couch...
...And now Dynamite is emptying my pan cupboard...

Perhaps surrender is the answer. Lay it down. Right now, I need to be content with what is before me and recognize that being in the will of God is fulfilling my responsibilities at this very moment in time. At this very moment, it is my duty to gently get my children headed toward bed. To read a story, brush their teeth and say prayers...without gritting my teeth and doing so in the most hurried manner possible. It is my blessing to be able to kiss them on their foreheads and tell them that they are loved and that they are good.

And to tell myself that the muffins can wait. To be fully present. Wow, it is so hard to do that. But for tonight, I will do my best.